How Do I Stop My Divorce And Save My Marriage Today?
By : Kelly Purden    19 or more times read

"How do I stop my divorce?" This is a common question asked by spouses who are desperate to save their marriage. "Is it even possible to stop it?" This is the usual follow-up question to the first one. A divorce is a process designed to put an end to a miserable marital relationship that is no longer working. While it is a popular option these days, divorce can be stopped, especially if one or both of the spouses would be willing to put it out of the equation at all cost. Although the outcome may be different for every couple, stopping a divorce takes real effort and serious determination.

"How do I stop my divorce?" This question can be answered in several ways. The first thing you must do once you've realized that there is something wrong with your marriage and that a divorce is in the works is to confront your spouse. Confrontation is important because it's the only way to hear your spouse confirm or deny your suspicions, and once you're told that, yes, he or she is indeed thinking of filing for divorce or has already done so, you can assess how you feel about the situation. If you're actually happy about it, then perhaps getting a divorce is the best way to go. If, on the other hand, you're devastated by news, then it's time to take the appropriate steps to save your marriage.

Some people go on asking "How do I stop my divorce?" without even addressing the root of the problem. How did your marriage end up in such bad condition - bad enough to warrant a divorce (at least your spouse thinks so) - in the first place? Does the current pitiful state of your marital affairs have something to do with unfaithfulness or infidelity, misunderstanding, lack of communication, financial problems, gambling and other vices, or a combination of all these and more? The divorce you and your spouse are now facing didn't come out of nowhere. It started somewhere - and that's what you need to find out. Address the issues and discuss them with your spouse. Sometimes, yelling is necessary to get things off your chest. Let the discussion run its course but always be mindful of your spouse's right to disagree with you. The most important thing to do at this time is to listen; this skill is vital if you want to know the answer to the question, "How do I stop my divorce?".

There are couples who have trouble opening up to each other. This may be because they have tried to talk in the past but only ended up fighting every time, or because they don't know what to say or how to say what's really on their mind. If you and your spouse are having difficulty talking about your problems, the answer to the question, "How do I stop my divorce?", is marriage counseling. Your marriage counselor can facilitate the discussions and even ask the questions that you've been afraid to ask. It may take several sessions to resolve all your conflicts, but one session is all you need to get things started, off your chest, and out in the open. Your spouse will realize you two don't need a divorce, but some quality time that involves effective communication.
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Submitted on: 2008-11-20